


Miscalculation

by falsechaos



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Community: norsekink, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Magic Gone Wrong, intersex!thor, loki is a smartass, magic vagina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falsechaos/pseuds/falsechaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor tries his hand at magic. It doesn't go so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miscalculation

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for the following Norsekink prompt:
> 
> http://norsekink.livejournal.com/11337.html?thread=26058569

"Brother, what manner of sorcery is this!?"

Loki took a pointed look at the thunder god's crotch. "Bad sorcery. Very, very *bad* sorcery." His lips quirked in a faint smile and he directed his gaze up to Thor's fuming face. "Unless, of course, this is what you were going for."

Thor froze in his frantic pacing. "No."

"I'm hardly one to judge and if there's some strapping young warrior that you wish to mount you in such a manner, I assure you, I wish only the best." The faint smile became a full smirk. "If anything, I must commend you!"

"What?"

"Partial transformations like that are very difficult to master!" The mocking praise fell warm and easy from his lips.

"Loki, no, this is *not* what I--"

"Because *surely* this was your intended effort, not something at all so underhanded and duplicitous as to take the form of a swooning maiden and--"

"Brother I wish only to--"

"--And break the heart of that ruffian who so unfairly bested you in combat the other--"

"I wish only to restore my manhood!" Thor bellowed. "And... he cheated!"

Loki arched a single raven black brow.

"It was no true combat by blade or magic! He *cheated*! I would accept an honest defeat, but never such dishonor!"

Loki smiled snake sharp and feline satisfied. "I believe you have done more than enough damage to your 'honor' than your opponent could ever hope to." He crossed his arms over his chest and regarded his brother with a more studying look. "Still, this could prove quite the opportunity."

Thor shot Loki a helpless look.

"Mother *has* been going on about grandchildren, and really, there's no reason not to get a head start on the next heir to the throne..."

Thor sat down on the edge of his bed with a thump. "I must fix this," he said in a small voice. "I must-- Brother, *please.*"

"Oh, please, it's not like you'd give birth to a *horse.*" It was Loki's turn to start pacing. "I would advise against that, of course. This is a very delicate sort of magic. I was teasing earlier, but partial transformations *are* hard to perform, and they are rather easy to disrupt if you don't have the proper control to maintain them..." He paused, tapping his chin. "You'll have to disrupt it. Fairly easy, even you should manage it."

"Disrupt it?" Hope dawned radiant on Thor's face. "Brother, if you could--"

"Me?" He stared at Thor. "You want *me* to disrupt it."

"Of course! Your mastery with spellcraft is well-known!"

Loki's lips twitched. "Spellcraft." A strangled sort of smirk stretched across his face. "You want me to... Just make proper use of my hands?"

"Yes!"

"Manipulate the malady?"

"Yes!"

"Handle the problem properly? A direct touch?"

"Brother!"

Loki stood before his brother, head tilted. "You have no idea what I mean by 'disrupt,' do you?"

Thor grit his teeth and clenched a pillow in his hands tight enough to rip the seams. "No, I apparently do not."

"The reason partial transformations are so difficult is that it takes proper concentration to maintain them." Loki spoke slowly and clearly, mimicking one of his early teachers. "Right now, you maintain the magic because you can think of nothing else. It remains despite being such a shoddy casting because you are obsessing over it."

"Am I supposed to *forget* that my manhood has been replaced with... with a woman's... that I lack... Ah..."

"That your mighty hammer has become a delicate chalice?" Loki said smoothly. He waved an errant hand to ward off the crimson sputtering rising to his brother's face. "No. There are other ways to..." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Even I am losing patience with this. By your own touch, brother, bring yourself to the peak of womanly pleasures. That should be sufficient to disrupt the spell. Unless, of course, you still prefer my hands on approach."

Thor turned an alarming shade of red and strangled on whatever reply tried to climb from his throat.

"Poor brother... I suppose you've never had to learn that particular art, have you? No doubt all those grateful maidens you've lead to your bedchamber were too awestruck to say otherwise."

"Urk..."

"Or perhaps the mere swing of your hammer was enough to... Oh, *honestly* this is no fun at all if you're just going to gape at me like a fish," Loki said, pursing his lips. "Very well." He placed both hands on Thor's shoulders and gave his brother a gentle shove and sent him sprawling back on the bed.

"Brother!"

Loki leaned over his brother and captured his lips in a swift kiss, swallowing whatever other protests Thor might have made. He was rendered pliant in his shock and then stiff when Loki snuck a hand down his breeches and to the new flesh that vexed him so. The new cleft was dry beneath Loki's fingertips until he brushed his thumb over a pert nub. "You would do well to remember this for any future bedmates," Loki whispered against the soft shell of Thor's ear. "Now spread your legs."

Thor bucked beneath him, moan mounting in his throat as he went slick and wet against his brother's talented fingers. "Loki..."

"Spread your legs."

An electric shiver arched down his spine and Thor thrust against Loki's hand, knees falling neatly apart.

"Good boy." Loki pulled away (he shivered himself at Thor's whine of loss) and tugged at Thor's breeches, dragging them off and flinging them aside. He drew back and away, green eyes mocking and affectionate in the same gaze.

"Loki, I-- what--?"

"There's more than one reason I am also named Silvertongue," Loki said. He placed a gentle kiss to Thor's trembling thigh and that small kindness seemed to undo the thunder god more than the brazen spread of his legs. Loki brushed his lips closer, mouth curving in a cheshire grin. "Might I sup upon the nectar of your pearl, brother?"

Thor tangled his hands in Loki's hair and dragged him closer.

Loki gave a happy hum and set about proving his name.


End file.
